


Kiss, Then Bite

by DarkPoisonousLove



Category: Winx Club
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Lovers To Enemies, Partners to Lovers, y'know all that good stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 03:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 12,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkPoisonousLove/pseuds/DarkPoisonousLove
Summary: Soft kisses turned into sharp words as past love turned into present hurt. A series of 30 short drabbles featuring the progress of Valtor and Griffin’s relationship throughout time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since this month I'm having a birthday, I decided to celebrate with a series of (super) short drabbles about my favorite couple. I will (hopefully) post every day of the month. The drabbles are separated into past and present as every odd-numbered chapter is in the past and every even-numbered chapter is in the present. But I'll also leave notes at the beginning of each drabble to make sure there's no confusion. I hope we'll all have great fun with this little challenge I've posed to myself (and that I'll manage to complete it). So here we go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

Valtor’s hands came up on both sides of her head, trapping her between his body and the wall with nowhere for her to escape. Griffin could feel the heat coming from him. Coming from her. “Haven’t you had enough fun, playing me like a board game?”

Her eyebrows shot up before she could catch herself. “Me?” her voice betrayed her shock but it seemed to take him aback so she didn’t berate herself and moved on to him instead. “You’re the one who flirts with me and then moves on to the next woman that crosses your path.” She tried to keep her outrage only in the context of his words and not mix in her feelings as well.

His face came close enough for her to taste his breath. It carried hints of power and knowledge. “That’s because you haven’t given me an answer,” his eyes bored into hers in such a way that made her certain he knew her darkest secrets.

“You haven’t asked me anything that would require one,” she raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to break the stalemate they’d created.

He leaned in and kissed her instead. His lips opened hers to let his breath in her mouth and allow all those intoxicating things she’d previously tasted on it to enter her system.

Her fists closed in his clothes and she pulled him closer. The moment she felt the wild rush of energy she knew she was in trouble. Yet, she only opened her mouth more, gasping to draw in more of him into her lungs. It was like breathing in life and it filled her with so much energy that she could barely keep it from overflowing, her magic begging to be let out.

He pulled away far too soon, bringing all that to an abrupt halt, smirked at her when he saw the longing on her face and walked away, daring her to make the next move.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“I want my life back,” Griffin said, her eyes boring into him with golden flames of anger. He’d had to come to her cell in the middle of the night since she’d been blasting the walls of her cell–they were resistant to magic but wouldn’t throw it back at her like the door would–making the whole castle shake.

And her words made him shake. “You?” he glowered at her, her insolence stirring the rage she’d made his heart shelter. “I spent seventeen years frozen in an ice cube thanks to you.” He grabbed at the magical bars, squeezing hard enough to break them if they were ordinary metal. He almost wished it were her neck under his fingers. Almost. The hatred on her face excited him as much as it infuriated him. He wouldn’t free her from his presence by sending her into the soothing embrace of death. She had to suffer for everything she’d done to him.

“I moved on,” she said, the words a painful reminder of their past together that stabbed him in the heart with the knowledge that he hadn’t even been given that chance. She was etched into his mind by the years of freezing isolation, making breathing an issue even when there was plenty of oxygen since the action itself reminded him of her. “I learned how to breathe without you,” she continued, employing all of her weapons to hurt him. Why else would she bring up the fact that she’d loved him? It had to be painful for her too. It had to haunt her at night like it haunted him. It had to leave her breathless as well. It had to. “How dare you come back?” she spat at him, her face distorted by hurt now. And it was so grotesque. For her to hate him for her suffering after her crimes against him.

“And I _couldn’t_ breathe,” he said. “Because of you.” Air was somewhat of an issue again as the hot of the rage bubbled in him, battling the ice cold of the memories inside him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

One second her gaze was sliding over the string of words on the page, the next she was staring at the empty space where her book had been. “Valtor.” She turned to find him sitting next to her, holding her book out to her. She didn’t grab for it. She wasn’t that stupid. “Give it back,” she insisted instead, letting a few green sparks fly out of her palm. She would fight him for it if he forced her hand.

“Not until I get that kiss you owe me.” He smirked at her as if she was the prey he’d finally cornered.

“There’s one problem with that. I don’t like you,” she enunciated to make it clear and, hopefully, hurt his ego enough to chase him away. Kissing him was too dangerous. Having him this close was too dangerous.

“Prove it,” he said, his eyes trained on her as if he could see into her soul.

“What, by kissing you?” she should’ve known he wasn’t going to give up so easily. He liked the difficulty. But the moment he conquered the challenge, he got bored of it. She wasn’t going to let him toss her aside like a broken toy.

“What’s the problem?” he asked innocently as if he couldn’t see the trap he’d set himself. “Unless you do like me?” It clicked closed around her.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and crashed her lips on his with all the might of her anger. She’d be damned if she let him think he had her under his spell, if she let him think she liked him. Or the way his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close. Or the softness of his lips. Or the gentle caress of his tongue against hers.

She moaned in protest when he pulled back, leaning forward to capture his lips again.

He allowed her one last quick peck before breaking the kiss and leaving the dawning realization of what had just happened hit her at full force.

Her eyes snapped open to find him smirking at her.

“Things just got interesting.” He shoved the book in her hands and walked away, leaving her to her failure. Or so she’d thought. But his words sounded more like victory. He’d gotten what he’d wanted from her, yet, it had only left him intrigued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“You robbed me of my entire life,” Valtor said, clutching at the magical bars as hard as ever. He probably hoped the accusation would break her. But he’d need more than that if she was still standing after all these years of loving him. “Did you really think you would ever be free of me?” His grip never loosened.

“No,” Griffin answered calmly. It was a question she’d asked herself often. Too often. “I have never been that stupid.” Stupid enough to get mixed up with him, the pull of his magic so seductive, even now when it was powered by his hatred for her. But not stupid enough to believe he’d ever relinquish his hold on her willingly. So she’d betrayed him and had him imprisoned, hoping to lock away her feelings for him as well. But she’d known he’d come back. In her soul, in her mind, in her bones. He was engraved into her being and woven into her life. “I always knew you’d come back.” She’d hoped she was wrong. She was never wrong. She couldn’t afford to be wrong when it came to him. Not again. There was too much at stake.

“And what good did it do you?” he asked as he let go of the bars and folded his arms, looking content with her admission. “You couldn’t even protect yourself,” he mocked. “Not to mention your students,” he held her gaze, making it clear just how much intention he was putting into this. He’d found her weakness and was thrilled to explore it.

Her cold gaze did nothing against him. He’d developed immunity against her ice now that he no longer wanted to feel her fire. It only affected her, causing chills to run down her spine and she shivered against her will.

Valtor smiled at her, baring his teeth like a predator ready to bite into his prey, his eyes moving to her throat where her heart was pounding in an unsteady rhythm.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter comes earlier because I'll be out of town later and won't be able to post it.
> 
> Past

Valtor dived away, avoiding her attack. He hadn’t used his magic once during the four and a half minutes of their “game”, only smirking at her when another one of her blasts missed him. “Looks like I have won,” he stated smugly.

“I still have half a minute left,” Griffin said, trying to keep the sharp edge out of her voice. It would only hurt her, giving away her irritation.

“Twenty-eight seconds,” Valtor amended as he glanced at the clock, so sure of his victory that he had the audacity to take his eyes off of her.

“More than enough,” she said, her words dissolving into space along with her as she teleported right in front of him. Her hands closed into his coat and she pulled him into a kiss before he could escape her. He’d been avoiding close contact–not only during their sparring, but also in general after that last kiss–and now that he was in her grasp it became obvious why.

She didn’t have to hold him tight for her pulled her closer, his hands tangling in her long hair as his tongue tangled with hers. It looked like he couldn’t break away from her and only sank in deeper instead. And his desperate hunger was trying to drag her down, too, and convince her to drown together with him. She had to put some effort into keeping herself on the surface. She had to remember the purpose of the kiss. It kept him entranced long enough for her to reach into his pocket and grab the golden key before pulling away.

“Still think you won?” she asked as she let the key dangle from her finger and taunt him while he caught his breath. She glanced at the clock to find she still had spare seconds left. She could swear they’d spent an eternity into that kiss.

“Oh, yes, I definitely did,” he growled and pulled her closer yet, causing her to drop the key and wrap her arms around his neck as his lips covered hers again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

Griffin bared her teeth in a cornered animal’s last attempt of intimidating the hunter on its tail. “Does hurting me make you feel good?” she asked with that heartbroken stare that left him deadly wounded. Her unexpected strategy of admitting weakness worked too well on his unprepared mind.

“Seeing you behind bars definitely helps.” It did. He’d spent so much time picturing what she’d look like in a cell. And he hadn’t been disappointed. It was enough to distract him from the memories of frozen stillness that inevitably flooded his mind in the late hours when he was alone, the warmth of another human being unfamiliar to him since she’d betrayed him.

“Really?” she sounded as if she’d smelled blood, as if she’d found a weakness. When his only weakness was her. The air in her lungs that sucked all the life out of him.

“It makes me feel so much better,” he said. He lied. Seeing her against him so insolent and audacious only stole whatever breath the ice hadn’t forced out of him from his lungs. She wanted all of it. She hadn’t been satisfied with what she’d taken away when she’d abandoned him. She hadn’t been satisfied with what he’d lost in the ice. She would only stop when his Dragon Fire burned out from the lack of oxygen.

“But not good,” she said with a look so painfully sympathetic on her face that it forced all the air out of him no matter how hard he tried to hold it in. Just like she’d slipped through his fingers despite his efforts to keep her at his side.

“After all I’ve been through, I doubt anything short of my ultimate goal could make me feel good,” he adopted her strategy of using weakness to attack. It had worked so well against him. But it didn’t seem to have any effect on her. For she was his only weakness.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

She was in his bed. She was in his arms. She was in his heart. And he couldn’t tell when all of that had happened. He could remember teasing her, flirting with her, kissing her to feel her soften in his arms and make her admit she wanted him. But while he’d been after her, she’d wormed her way into his life. He’d tried to keep her at an arm’s length, just a little bit of distance so he’d be safe. But her touch was too tempting, too gentle for him to resist bringing her closer. And closer. Closer still. Until she was at his side, covered in his bedsheets and wrapped in his embrace. And he pulled her back to him when she tried to move.

“Feeling particularly possessive today, are we?” she teased, testing his wit with expectations of an arrogant and smug response. He didn’t have one.

“I like you this close to me,” he said, the softness of her body against his having his guard crumbling in seconds and her breath on his skin dispersed the dust left behind, making it impossible for him to rebuild it. “You’re warm.” He was warm too, the Dragon Fire burning inside him at all times. But there was something else in her warmth. Something he’d never had. Something that felt too much like love. Even to him. Even if he’d never been exposed to that in order to recognize it. Still, it felt so familiar coming from her fingertips, washing over him every time she touched him. It felt like home.

“You like your warmth, don’t you?” Amusement flicked in her eyes but the warmth of her touch soothed any anxiousness his confession could have brought about in him.

“Only when it comes from you,” he said and pulled her into a kiss but quickly abandoned her lips and focused on her neck instead, the heat of her skin too alluring for him to stay away. He couldn’t get enough of it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“And Faragonda had told you I was bad for you,” Valtor shook his head in disbelief.

“She was right.” Of course she’d been right. She hadn’t been blinded by feelings.

“Because you were so good for me,” he pulled away as if repulsed by her words. As if he was anything short of one of the worst criminals the magical dimension had ever known.

“I wasn’t bad enough for you. And you weren’t good enough for me.” He carried the Dragon Fire inside. Yet, he’d chosen to plunge the world into darkness. And she’d been supposed to wreck havoc with her dark magic. Yet, she’d turned to the light to save the universe.

“What would’ve been good enough for you?” The genuine question burned worse than his mockery. Had it not been clear enough? Had she really left him thinking he had to go to extremes to win her love?

“Not destroying the universe.” She’d only ever wanted him to not be evil enough to qualify for being sent to Omega.

“I could’ve lived with that,” he said, his negligent tone pushing all of her buttons.

“Could you have?” she pushed back.

“If there was another way to gain enough power,” he said with all the composure of someone who had his priorities figured out.

“Was there ever enough for you?” Griffin asked, bitterly aware that regardless of the answer, she never could have been.

“Nobody thought there was,” he said, looking lost as if trying to decide if he himself was part of that. “They convicted me to an eternity because anything else short of that wouldn’t have been enough for me.” His gaze focused on her. “But we’ll find out together if any amount of your suffering will be enough for me.”

His words had terror creeping and nestling inside her. For she had never been enough for him. And no amount of her suffering would be either.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

“It’s getting late.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly to cover up the effect that statement had on him. Not the sentence itself, actually, rather than what would follow.

“I should get back to my room.” There it was. The words left her mouth. And she’d leave his bed. Just like she did every time. And for all his power, he couldn’t stop her. He couldn’t make himself try.

There was a shift in the mattress as she sat up, preparing to go back to her own bed and leave him alone in the cold of the night. He could already feel his heart freezing at the thought of her touching the metal handle of the door to let herself out. Or not even doing that. She used magic sometimes which seemed even colder. One second she was there, the next she was gone as if she’d never existed. And he had to stop himself from following her to make sure that she was real and she’d truly been in his arms just seconds ago, that his mind hadn’t made her up to alleviate his loneliness.

“Griffin,” he called to stop her. That was the only way to avoid the cold of her absence that stung worse than the burning fear inside him.

She paused and found his gaze, her eyes full of anticipation.

He hesitated. It was too dangerous to speak, too dangerous to ask her to stay. He’d let his guard down enough as it was. Too much, really. And sleep would leave him even more vulnerable. There was no mask he could wear while he was asleep, no arrogant words to protect him and hurt those around to drive them away. It was why he never let anyone close to him while he slept. But he wanted her close. And he couldn’t imagine how soft she would be with her mind wrapped in sleep if she was this gentle while awake. He needed to know.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a kiss that would tell her all of that without him actually telling her any of it. It was the best way. The safest way. The surest way.

She didn’t pull away, let him break it off and laid her head on his shoulder, answering his plea. “Just for tonight,” she spoke and he admired her for the bravery for he could feel her uncertainty in the way it sounder more like a question, like she was afraid to think he’d want more.

“Of course,” he answered her thoughts. He wanted more. He wanted all of her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“I gave you everything I had,” Griffin spoke quietly but her intentions were loud and crystal clear. She wanted to make herself the victim again. She wanted to make him the villain again. When he was clearly the one who’d had everything taken away from him. Everything from his power to his breath. She hadn’t even spared his memories with her betrayal.

“The only thing I got from you was cold.” His voice came out mellow enough as he kept his fire at bay. She didn’t even deserve the passion he was putting in his revenge. She didn’t deserve his time. She’d gotten enough of it already, too much of it. But the hurt on her face was so alluring, and her suffering was yet another prison for him. Just like her love. And if he couldn’t break free from one, then he didn’t stand a chance against the other.

“That’s not true,” she snapped, having the audacity to object to him erasing her from his past when she was guilty for casting him out of the dimension. She’d left him, yet, she wanted a place in his life. And not even as the enemy whose guts he despised. She wanted him to hold her in his memory as the love of his life. But the only role she had in it was of the object of his vengeance, not that of his desires.

“How does it feel to have a lie thrown in your face?” It hurt her more. The words hurt her more than him. The admission that they’d had something–everything–but she’d destroyed it hurt her more than it did him. And that knowledge helped soothe the burning agony from those feelings that refused to stay dead no matter how much ice he buried them under.

She looked at him, calm enough to think before she spoke which meant it’d be bad. “I know I broke your heart.”

His hands balled into fists and he was certain his knuckles were white with the desire to strangle her. Not out of revenge. Just to keep her from speaking again.

“But I never got mine back from you.”

It hurt him more. Her vulnerability hurt him more. The admission that they’d had something–everything–but she’d destroyed it hurt him more than it did her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

Her lips tickled his neck and he shivered against the featherlight kiss. It could easily turn into a bite. She could open her mouth and sink her teeth into his throat any second. She’d done it before. But the possibility didn’t scare him.

“I know all your weaknesses,” her sultry voice teased his ears just like the moving of her lips teased the skin of his throat.

It should’ve alerted him, as close as she was. Close enough to hurt him. He’d let her get to him, to his mind and soul. And he’d pull her right back if she ever tried to leave. For she was his only weakness. Everything else had no meaning. It bore no consequence. He would survive it with her by his side.

“And what do you plan on doing with that knowledge?” he asked, the softness of her lips on his throat swallowing the vibrations of the words leaving it and the heaviness of her body on top of his like a shield between him in his bared and vulnerable state and the world giving him the confidence to do so.

She propped herself up at the question and her eyes found his, the seriousness in them making his heart falter. “I will keep it safe for you.”

They were just simple words. And words could always turn into lies. But it would hurt him more to doubt her rather than to let himself get fooled by her. It would kill him to not believe her. So he pulled her down to him, closer, to chase away the remaining space between them since it was unnecessary. Their lips fit so well against each other just like her body fit perfectly in his arms.

He slid his hands down her back, soaking up the heat of her skin. It didn’t burn like his fire did. It was safe. It was home. It welcomed him to open up and trust her, let her warmth touch him without fearing painful demise. And all vulnerability melted away when he was wrapped in her embrace, leaving him protected and invincible in her arms instead of weak and exposed. And how could he pull away from that? It was the most powerful he’d ever felt.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

Valtor glared at her from the other side of the bars. Whatever came out of his mouth next would be bad. Worse than the apparent desire to murder her. “You broke my trust which is worse than breaking my heart.” There it was again. Denial. As if refusing to acknowledge his feelings would make them go away. It didn’t work that way and they’d made each other painfully aware of that. But he’d only admit enough vulnerability to have reason to keep blaming her for everything.

“I did leave you,” she admitted. She couldn’t run away from that, nor did she want to. She’d made the right choice no matter how wrong it had felt to him. Or to her. “But I never used any of your weaknesses against you.” She kept them all safe in her mind. And even though the memories of their past together had been tainted by everything that had come after, she still held on to them, to what they’d had, to the knowledge that he’d trusted her with everything he’d had, including his weaknesses. He’d trusted her–only her–and she’d made sure she was the only one who was allowed that knowledge. She kept it close to her heart since it was the only thing she had left from him.

“That’s because I don’t have any,” Valtor spoke, his voice even and his expression impassive. And it was worse than his hatred. To know that he was trying to fool her as if she couldn’t see through him. To know that he was using his mask against her as if she’d never seen what lay under it, as if she’d never seen his mind and soul.

“Are you trying to lie to me or to yourself?” she asked to anger him. It would be better to see the flames flare in his eyes. It would be more real. Not like the deception he was trying to pull off. She’d accept his anger and his hatred but not the blatant erasure of their history together. He’d barged back into her life so he had to admit she’d been a part of his.

He folded his arms calmly and took a step forward. “Or maybe it’s just the simple truth that you don’t know me as well as you think.” There was no fire in the words and she felt the bite of the cold in her veins.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Softness alert. This is probably my favorite chapter from those I've written already. It's just so... well, you'll see.
> 
> Past

"Valtor, will you come look at this?" she barely raised her head to glance at him before returning her attention to the words on the page. It had taken them ages to find that particular spell and she was afraid it would disappear if she let it out of her sight. Something Valtor didn't seem too concerned with if the lack of response was any indication.

She was ready to snap at him when she looked up but the look in his eyes gave her pause. He seemed entranced and as if he wasn't completely there. She'd caught him look at powerful artifacts like that before. And even at her once or twice. It had her pulse speed up and she had to swallow the heart in her throat before she could speak.

"What is it?" she asked softly, hoping it wouldn't make him stop looking at her like that.

Valtor came closer, his gaze never leaving hers, and she tilted her head backwards to not break eye contact. He cupped her cheek and she leaned into the touch without a second thought. "I like it when you say my name," he said and she could melt into the words. The mere fact that he admitted it told her more than she'd ever expected of him. The Valtor she'd met initially never would've said it, never would've trusted her with a confession of his actual feelings. She'd had to observe carefully and read into his every word to get the slightest idea of what was going on in his head. But now he trusted her implicitly, enough to bare his soul to her of his own volition.

She covered his hand with hers and pressed her cheek into his palm, seeking more contact. It always amazed her when he allowed her to touch him so freely and it left her craving for more. How could she get enough when her want for him was engraved into her very being, into her skin and into her soul? "Valtor," she whispered, his name falling from her lips like a sacred prayer meant only for his ears.

And he answered it, his mouth pressing against hers and the softness of his kiss had her eyes closing from the heaviness of the emotions. It was a feeling she'd only ever known with him and she'd avoided naming it but it didn't like staying unrecognized. It wouldn't let her ignore it anymore.

She found herself gasping when he pulled away and the lack of oxygen got in the way of drawing him into another kiss.

He seemed to be reading her mind, though, for he held her close and touched his forehead to hers. "Say it again," he pleaded, the words falling into her mouth and she inhaled them along with his desire and need. He loved the sound of his name coming from her for what it stood for.

"Valtor," she breathed out weakly.

_I love you._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes early because internet connection is insecure in the immediate future.
> 
> Present

“You changed me,” Valtor said, his eyes locked with hers and his face relaxed as if thinking about their past wasn’t painful for him like it was for her.

It was true. She had. She’d made him happy. But she knew for a fact he’d never admit it. So wherever he was going with that would just bring her more pain. It would be another bleeding wound in her chest when he delivered the blow and twisted the blade to cause more damage. That he was good at. They both were.

“Or rather, your betrayal did.” Of course. Of course, he’d deny everything positive she’d brought into his life. It would give him a reason to feel something else other than hatred for her. And they couldn’t have that. Not after all those years of trying to rip the other from their hearts. “My mothers always warned me how unbecoming distractions were, but you were the one to finally teach me that.”

“So I was just a distraction?” It hurt. It hurt to hear him say that. Even when she knew it wasn’t true. Even with the memories of him leaning further and further into her touch and her kisses until they were practically one. Even with the sound of him saying her name as if she was a heavenly blessing still in her ears. “If I was so unimportant,” Griffin took a breath to get her nerves under control and make sure her teeth weren’t grinding together, “then why do you spend so much time and effort on your revenge against me?” He could still lie. He would lie. He would always lie. Even when they both knew she wouldn’t fall for it. Because he’d fallen for her. And that was why she wanted to give him a chance to tell her the truth. She hadn’t given it to herself when she’d betrayed him and she’d ended up in a cell for it.

“Because you are a traitor who deserves to be punished.” It was true. And from the right perspective it could be the truth she wished to hear. But it wasn’t enough for her.

“Is that all?” she quirked a brow at him in a challenge. To rile him up, push him into a state where he’d be unable to consider and control his responses, where he’d be unable to hide behind that mask he wore like armor. It would level the playing field a bit, considering she was his prisoner.

“What else do you expect?” his words shocked her as if the spell on the door had turned her latest attempt at escape back on her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

He felt a caress against his cheek. Fingers pressed against it and then lips pressed against the side of his neck. His hand found Griffin’s waist and the soft strands of hair that got caught under his palm gave him yet another gentle and appealing nudge towards wakefulness. He opened his eyes when her lips abandoned his neck to be met with the sight of her face.

“Good morning,” she said in a hushed voice as if to not disturb his still sleep-wrapped mind and leaned in to kiss him.

He allowed his eyes to close again and let himself get carried away in her tenderness. His hand covered hers on top of his chest–placed right above his heart as if to protect it from any hurt the outside world could throw at it–as he enjoyed the feeling of her lips against his and the weight of her body half on top of his. It was a pleasant heaviness. One he wouldn’t mind feeling for the rest of his life. Same for his heavy breathing when she finally pulled away, the innocent good morning kiss having turned intense like all their interactions did. They put too much passion into them for them to stay tame.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” he said when he finally regained his ability to speak as he moved a strand of hair out of her face. “What’s with all the kisses?” He didn’t mind. How could he? He would only mind if she ever stopped kissing him like that. Just the thought of it caused him chest pains that even her hand over his heart couldn’t protect him from. He needed more proof.

“Oh, you don’t want them?” The feigned shock on her face almost had him smile. “I can always find someone else to give them to,” she said and even though she was just teasing, the words easily reached his heart. And so did the feeling of her pulling away as she tried to get up.

“I didn’t say that,” he growled as he pulled her to him, his hand on her neck and his arm wrapped tightly around her waist while he claimed her mouth with a possessive kiss.

It was her who was left out of breath this time. Or so he thought before she opened her mouth. “I love you,” Griffin whispered, the words hitting him over the head, as she drew him into another kiss.

That one was gentler as he allowed himself to return the sentiment.

_I love you._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“Every time I wake up I’m reaching for you but you’re never there.” Another blade twisted just right into her heart. She could see the truth in the words just like she could see the lie. “Is that what you want to hear?” Valtor asked to make sure he’d reached his aim. Somehow his denial of being hurt hurt her more than knowing the truth about how deep a wound she’d left on his soul. Him trying to erase her from his heart altogether–as if she’d never been there–hurt more than knowing she’d ripped it to shreds.

“It will certainly be closer to the truth.” She knew he’d reached for her. That first morning after she’d left. He’d reached for her to find the bed empty and the sheets cold with her absence. He must have. He must have loved her enough to be hurt by her departure. He must have.

“The only thing I’ve missed from you,” Valtor started and she knew he was drawing back the blade just to push it in deeper, “is that additional power our partnership gave me.” He hadn’t changed one bit. Or rather, he’d reversed back into the emotionless, power-hungry wizard he’d been before she’d touched his soul. He could almost convince her she’d never been a part of his life, she’d never held him in her arms and had never filled his heart with love. But she had. Her marks were all over him and she’d claw at them to make them visible again if she had to.

“You don’t miss the good morning kisses?”

His eyes widened at the memory of how he’d gotten so immersed into them that the rest of the world had dissolved into nothingness.

“The whispered “I love you”s?”

His breath hitched at the knowledge that her love had left him breathless and filled him with life.

“My touch on your face?” She took a step closer and extended her arm towards him.

“Stop!” His voice recoiled off the walls like a whiplash and she let her arm fall at her side as he retreated.

It hurt to see him avoiding her touch like the plague when letting go of her had been his only problem. It still was. For as much as he wished for it, he didn’t have the power to erase her from his life. Just like she didn’t have the power to reach him through the magical bars.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

The other witch crouched under Griffin’s death glare and sauntered off. She wasn’t so high and mighty now that she had to face an obstacle. Or maybe it was the green in Griffin’s eyes that scared her away.

“I thought you were better than that,” Valtor spoke behind her back, his voice dripping with smugness. While his possessiveness was a well-known fact to anyone who dared lay eyes on her, she tried to keep her jealousy in check. But even she had to admit it got the best of her sometimes.

Griffin turned around to look at him, not phased by his comment. “Says the man who can’t keep his hands off of me, too afraid someone else might snatch me away,” she shot back without hesitation but watched carefully for his reaction, for any signs of hurting him.

“I’m keeping them off of you,” Valtor said as he raised his hands to prove it. He was game.

She gave him a pointed look before heading for the bar that currently harbored a few lonely souls that were just waiting for company. She’d barely passed half the distance when his magic wrapped around her and transported her back into his room in their base.

She turned around to find him practically pressed against her back, his hands balled into fists and his breathing just a tad deeper as he was trying to resist the impulse to touch her. She raised a brow at him.

“Still keeping my hands off you,” he said, though the smugness had seeped out of his gaze as he struggled not to undermine himself.

“If you want to get technical,” she leaned in, her lips just an inch away from his, teasing, pushing him towards failure, towards the truth, “you’re jealous.”

He closed the distance between them, capturing her lips into a vicious kiss but still refraining from touching her. As if that could prove something that simply wasn’t true while his every action stated his possessiveness louder than words ever could.

She wrapped her ams around his neck and pulled him closer. His desire for her could never repulse her. It only drew her closer and she didn’t want to leave his embrace. Ever.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“How does it feel to lose the thing you love most?” Griffin asked with a cold expression on her face, making it clear just how deliberate the question was. He should’ve known she wouldn’t give up. She never did. She still refused to leave his life after all these years of haunting him.

“I’m doing just fine without you.” A lie. His life had been a downward spiral ever since she’d left him. “I would’ve been even better if I’d killed you before you could betray me.” Another lie. It wouldn’t have changed a thing because he would still remember what it had been like to hold her in his arms and how reluctant he’d been every time he’d had to let go of her. And because he remembered, he couldn’t kill her.

“Is that why you keep me locked up where I can’t leave you again?” She remembered it, too. She knew he’d fallen for her so she wouldn’t fall for his lies. “But no, I wasn’t talking about me. I meant your power.” She knew he was lying so she slapped him in the face with the truth. It hadn’t even occurred to him that she wasn’t talking about herself. She kept pushing back into his life so he hadn’t expected her to have any self-awareness on the matter.

“Probably the same way you felt,” he stepped forward in offense. It was time to remind her that he’d been a part of her life as well.

The response came after a second’s hesitation. “Power has never been that important to me.” It was true but she also acknowledged the importance of how powerless he’d left her, trapped in his revenge where she could do nothing he hadn’t allowed.

“I was talking about me,” he said to help her with the rest of the truth that she had conveniently left out.

Another pause. “I didn’t lose you. I left you.” Another truth. “Because the safety of the universe was more important than my feelings.”

“And how does the coldness of that choice feel?” he sneered, purposefully trying to rile her up. He didn’t need her sparing his feelings. Not after she’d ripped his heart to shreds.

“I imagine you know that,” she said quietly and he couldn’t understand how she could be stabbing him in the chest so compassionately. For her eyes were full of understanding that made the words hurt that much more. How could she know the pain he’d been through when she’d been the one who’d caused it to him?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

“What were you thinking?” Griffin snapped at him, barely even waiting for the portal to spit them back into their base. The bleeding cut on his arm only fed her frustration with him instead of drawing sympathy from her. He’d been lucky she’d managed to pull him out of the way before the sword of that guard had pierced his heart.

“You were in danger,” he said, wincing as he employed his magic to heal the wound.

The pain crossing his face stoked the fiery rage inside her further. “I could handle myself.” She’d thought he’d learned that by now. Just like she’d thought he wouldn’t be stupid enough to let his feelings blind him and try to protect her. “You disregarded my plan completely, putting both of us and the mission at risk.” She let out a noisy breath, trying to release the pressure the anger had built up inside her.

“I won’t allow anything to take you from my side,” he said, his voice quiet but decisive and his eyes so open and vulnerable, letting her look right into his soul and begging her to understand.

She did. She did understand and that was why she was furious. She did understand and that was why she drew him into a kiss to seal on a promise that wasn’t up to her to keep. But she’d do everything in her power to stay at his side and that she could promise him. So she let him know, her tongue communicating it to his better than words ever could, in a way he’d believe more. Still, there were words she needed to say, needed him to hear and listen to them.

She broke the kiss and cupped his face with her hand, pressing her cheek against his. “Please, don’t be the one to take you from my side,” she whispered in his ear, just the thought of losing him too painful for her to find the strength to speak louder. Still, she hoped he would hear and he would listen.

“I won’t be,” Valtor whispered back to her and buried his face in her hair. His arms wrapped around her waist and the gesture finally reassured her enough for the anger to melt away into his hug.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“Your eyes can be so cruel,” Valtor said but held her gaze as if he couldn’t take his eyes off of her, as if they were back in the past where she’d been the only thing he would look at, the only thing he’d wanted to look at.

“Because they speak the truth?” Griffin asked, the look in his eyes giving her hope that she’d finally gotten through to him, that he’d let her in, that she wouldn’t have to push against and hurt him. Because he’d always believed actions more than words and she’d always understood why that was.

“Yes.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A single word. A simple word. Yet, it held so much power even as it admitted vulnerability.  _Because _ it admitted vulnerability. And it made things much less complicated now that she didn’t have to fight against his denial. It finally allowed her to breathe.

She opened her eyes to find him studying her carefully. His breathing was even and barely noticeable and his face was blank as if he’d resigned to his fate. “So you believe me?” she asked, hoping to get some reaction out of him–no matter what–because the dead expression on his face was killing her. She’d only wanted him to not dismiss her pain. She hadn’t meant to hurt him so badly that he’d bleed out.

“It would be foolish of me after everything that happened,” he said but there was no bite in the words. As if he’d accepted the fact that his death would come from his own hand. “Even when I know you’re not lying.” Yet, his words were killing _her_.

“Did I hurt you so much that you can’t even trust your own judgment?” She knew she’d destroyed his trust in her, but she’d never thought she’d destroyed his own trust in himself. Yet, he’d still believed her even despite that.

“Yes,” he said and the confession was so cruel. It gave a different perspective on his reluctance to accept she’d been hurt too. And if she’d known, she wouldn’t have pushed so hard. If she’d known... she never would’ve pulled away. She never would’ve been so cruel to him. Even if it had meant being cruel to everyone else. Even if it had meant being cruel to herself.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! You know the drill - chapter is early because of possible net issues later.
> 
> Past

They’d argued. They’d argued and they’d fought. And of course, they’d done that before. But there was something different this time, something ugly in the way the verbal conflict had turned physical and his magic had hurt her when his words hadn’t been able to defeat her, something that hurt him with the realization that he’d given her a reason to distance herself from him and deny him more of her love. And that had his heart quaking with fear that she’d leave and he wouldn’t have the right to stop her because he’d be the one who’d chased her away.

“Griffin,” he called, feeling a pang of guilt for drawing her attention away from tending to her injuries–the ones he’d caused her–but he had to reassure her. He had to reassure himself. “I’m so sorry,” he said when her eyes met his, the emptiness of her gaze hurting worse than any anger that might have been in there.

“I’m used to it,” she said as she looked away from him and back to her arm where there was still a patch of burnt skin from one of his blasts. The decided indifference was obviously deliberate and accomplished its goal of hurting him, but he’d done worse to her. And it was his own fault for giving her the ammunition in the first place. It was his own fault that he hadn’t prevented her from saying it.

“Griffin,” he insisted again, making her sigh, but she still looked at him. “I will never do that again,” he said as he knelt before where she was sitting so that he could level himself with her. “I will never hurt you like that again,” he promised as he cupped her cheek and was relieved to feel her leaning into the touch and closing her eyes, allowing him to soothe the wounds he’d inflicted on her soul, allowing him to mend her trust in him.

He leaned in, hesitating, wondering whether she would allow him that comfort just yet, but finally touched his lips against hers slowly and lightly, not wanting to force her into something she wasn’t ready for yet.

She pulled him closer and deepened the kiss as if she’d read his mind and wished to reassure him she still wanted him close, still wanted his love. Feeling her pull away still had his heart racing in trepidation though, until he felt her breath on his skin and heard her words in his ears.

“I love you no matter what.” 

It was so quiet, yet, it had enough power to put his doubts to rest, and he didn’t even need to see the unwavering devotion in her eyes to believe it. He just needed to feel it, to feel her. So he pulled her into another kiss as his hand slid up her arm and when he felt the burnt skin under his fingers, he summoned his magic to heal the last traces of the hurt he’d caused her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“Would you start over if you had the chance?” Griffin asked, but this time the quietness of her voice and the sadness in her eyes didn’t make him want to avert his gaze. Because she looked like his words had finally reached her. He’d admitted his weakness to her, admitted that it was her, and it looked like that had been what had finally hurt her. Yet, her hurt only seemed to hurt him further, making him feel for her again after all these years of being frozen in soulless cold.

“What’s the point in mulling over that?” He didn’t want to think about it only to find out that they’d had a chance but they’d wasted it. He didn’t want to consider other possibilities only to reach the conclusion that there’d been no way for them to save what they’d had. And he didn’t want her reaching that conclusion either, for any more pain on her face would be the end of him now that he’d chosen to believe it was real, believe that she hurt for him, too.

“Would you have made different choices?” Griffin insisted. He should’ve known she wouldn’t give up. She never did.

“Would you have?” he turned the question on her for he could tell there was something she wanted to get out, something she wanted to tell him. But she knew him well enough to know he didn’t believe words. And after her betrayal, he didn’t believe at all.

“I made the only choice I could live with.” It hurt. It hurt just like he’d known it would. But not because of the words. It hurt because he was certain he could hear regret in her voice and he believed he could see it in her eyes. And it hurt him to know he was powerless to turn back time and give her the chance to choose again, to choose him. “But if a happy future was impossible, I’d at least keep the happy past,” she said as if trying to reassure him, and he made sure to cut his gaze from hers because, otherwise, he’d believe that, too. And he couldn’t.

“You wouldn’t spare yourself the pain?” he asked even though he knew. He knew her too well. Of course she wouldn’t. She’d put them both through the same, making him fall for her all over again, making him feel for her again, having no mercy for either one of them. She’d been the one who’d found it in herself to leave, after all, and he still couldn’t understand what kind of fire burned inside her that had kept her from freezing from that decision, that had kept her love burning.

“And deprive myself of the love we shared?” she asked and he hated her for the easiness with which her voice formed the words, hated her for not choking on them. The taste of heaven that they’d gotten couldn’t have possibly been enough for her. It had left him with a gaping hole in his chest that wanted to swallow her whole for he could barely breathe without her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

“I love you,” Valtor whispered against her neck, his lips almost pressed against her pulse point as if he wanted to get the words in her bloodstream and have them flowing in her veins. He’d said it to her before – at different times, in a different tone of voice. Yet, she treasured the whispered ones the most. The quietness of his voice meant vulnerability, and he never really showed that except with her. It made the words full of trust and special, something to keep close to her heart and reach to for warmth when the world got cold. “I never meant to fall in love with you.” That one made its way into her lungs to force all the air out of them. He never would’ve said something that could push her away if he didn’t trust her to stay.

She pulled him closer–almost fully on top of her–and she didn’t care if his weight would crush her as long as she got to feel him. Missions had become hectic–and more brutal, though that only seemed to affect her–lately, barely giving them any alone time, not to mention opportunities to just lie in bed sinking into each other. She wanted to enjoy the rare quiet moment but the words kept pushing out, piercing her body like ice shards until she couldn’t stand it anymore. “Would you change that?” she asked even though she knew. She knew the answer even better than he did.

“Never,” he told her. He lied to her, even if he didn’t realize it. Because the moment he stopped loving her, he would wish to erase all traces of her from his heart and mind.

She pressed herself into him harder, as if trying to make them one so that that moment would never come. “And what if...” she stopped to swallow the ice that had filled her throat, though it seemed endless and cut off her airflow. “What if it didn’t work out?” she asked, her eyes closing at the pain that ripped through her as the words forced their way through the mass of ice.

“We’ll make it work,” the fire of his words stung. It didn’t balance out the cold inside her, but only made it worse instead, causing her to shut her eyes tighter. “I won’t give up.” That was exactly what worried her. He wouldn’t give up what he loved. And he loved her, but he also loved power. And if he had to choose between them, she would lose. She had to be the one to choose. Live with ice wrapped around her throat or with a burning ache in her heart? Die or die?

She pulled him into a kiss and the ice loosened its grip on her as the reality of that choice melted away under his lips.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“Get out of my head,” Valtor said as if she’d just gotten inside, as if she hadn’t been there all along, as if his words didn’t reveal all of that to her. But what was the point in hiding when she would see right through all of his words?

“I’m not trying to hurt you with this,” Griffin spoke softly, proving his point. She knew. She knew him. All of him. Every thought in his head. For he’d opened up to her and she’d seen them all as if they were hers.

“Then why does it hurt?” He couldn’t pretend even if he wanted to. And he wanted to. He really did. Speaking the thoughts as they were in his mind was too much like trusting her. And trusting her was too much like loving her. And he couldn’t do that. He’d done it once and it had ended in hell.

“Because it was real,” Griffin said. “The love was real.” The warmth in her voice was so repulsive he could barely stand the sound of it. The fondness with which she recalled his time of downfall was driving him away until he wished to leave her like she’d left him. “And so was the heartbreak.” But what really pushed him to move was the lack of ice in her eyes. Because she’d gotten to pick her own fate but he’d had his chosen by her as well. And she hadn’t been a benevolent goddess.

“I didn’t ask for any of it,” he hissed as he turned his back on her to walk away. He’d sacrificed too much of his time as tribute to her when he didn’t even worship her anymore. She’d refused his devotion and now she had to live without it. Just like he had to live without hers.

“Yes, you did,” she spoke, her voice not loud but it had him stopping dead in his tracks. “Your eyes begged me to love you every time you looked at mine and your kisses were pleading with me to stay with the very breath of your lungs.”

His eyes closed and he pursed his lips to keep any unbidden sounds from escaping. He had to drown her out and keep going but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He wanted to listen, wanted to hear her tell him something that would ease his pain. Goddesses–when benevolent–had the power to heal the worst injuries. And he’d been deadly wounded. He needed her to breathe life into him again.

“Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

His eyes snapped open and he turned slowly to find her eyes pleading with him to believe her. And it was selfish of her to want things from him when she was the one with all the power. 

“But you did it,” he said, his voice devoid of anything that could grant her silent plea.

“I had to save the universe.” No, she hadn’t. She’d been his goddess and his only. “Even if it meant destroying my universe,” her voice cracked and her eyes welled up with tears that the coldness of his glare hadn’t managed to freeze inside her heart. “I have never loved anyone else,” she whispered, granting him some mercy at last. “You are the entire universe of my love.” And she’d destroyed it. How had she been so cruel to herself, his selfish soul could never understand.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

They were killing people. People that they didn’t have to kill. And Griffin’s blood ran cold, freezing with terror, every time she had to spill someone else’s because of him. She’d killed before. But not like that. She could no longer remember the faces as the bodies kept piling–anonymous phantoms that would haunt her with the very fact that they were shadows she couldn’t even see–as he forced her to play god, deciding the fate of hundreds of people whose lives were not theirs for the taking.

“You’ve been so cold lately,” Valtor’s voice nearly had her jump and drop the book that she most certainly wasn’t reading since she’d even forgotten she was holding it. He’d noticed. She’d tried her best to pretend that all was fine but he knew her too well and her waning kisses spoke loud and clear. But she couldn’t find it in herself to let his heat consume her when his flames were killing so many. “Is there someone else?” he asked, making her heart stop in her chest, the air freezing in her lungs.

“What?” she choked out, trying to reset her vital organs and make them work again. Her conscience was weighing her down like an anchor, screaming at her to wake up from the dream she’d let him drag her into, and his question was like a slap in the face. He was taking so much, yet, the only thing he was worried about was losing her.

“If there is...” he spoke, his voice low and dark, the heat radiating from his body dangerous and merciless. He wanted to keep burning. All the ashes he’d left behind hadn’t been enough for him. He wanted more. He wanted her, and if he couldn’t have her, he’d have her blood.

“You’re overthinking,” she was quick to reassure. “I’m yours,” she said, drowning out the screams in her head. She shouldn’t overthink either. She _was_ his. She _wanted_ to be his. “That’s all I want to be.” And she hoped he wouldn’t make her want something else as badly as he’d made her want him.

He looked at her for a moment before pulling her into a kiss to confirm her honesty, causing her to drop the book on the ground. But that was nothing compared to the way he handled her. The kiss was so selfish, stealing the breath right out of her lungs as if she was just a prized possession, a toy he liked to play with, and not a treasured soul that he loved. It left her burning for air and fearing for her life, the freezing terror creeping inside her bones and settling there. And suddenly the heat of his body was more tempting than retaining her sanity.

She pulled him closer and drew him into another kiss, begging him to touch her like a goddess and be selfless enough to give himself to her, give her his love and devotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: "Every time you say you love me, it means a little less."


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“Every time you say you love me, it means a little less,” Valtor said, no bite in the words, no cold, no rage, no fire. Just nothing. An emptiness that a thousand universes couldn’t fill. And it scared her. For she had no power to do anything about it, about him. _For_ him.

“How can you say that?” she asked, the tears evaporating under the sting of his words. She’d just wanted him to believe she hadn’t meant to be so cruel to him. She’d wanted him to give her a chance to help heal his wounds, help him feel again. Even if not for her.

“Because every time you say you love me, I believe you a little more.” She couldn’t stop the gasp the sound of which filled the empty space of the dungeons as she sought air, oxygen. She needed to breathe. And his words were making it simultaneously easier and harder. “And that makes it a little more meaningless.” The air she’d just drawn in was knocked out of her. “If you loved me,” oxygen filled her lungs again, “but you left me,” she couldn’t breathe again, “did that love mean anything?” His eyes were begging her to speak up and convince him otherwise, and she found her voice somehow, even if she was still out of breath.

“It meant everything,” she spoke and the strength of the words seemed to wash over them like a wave of magic and save their lives. “Would something meaningless hurt this much?” That seemed to convince him further for they’d both felt the pain flaming through their hearts and burning their whole lives. “Would it set your heart ablaze with hatred if it hadn’t set it with love at first?” They both knew he hated her. They’d both felt it. But she’d hated him, too. For not loving her enough to pick her. For making her choose. For making her lose him.

“It’s not burning, Griffin, that’s the thing,” Valtor spoke, spoke her name, drawing her attention to him for her to realize she’d lost him again. “It’s just empty,” the tone from earlier was back and it scared her again. It scared her because now it left a void between them. “It’s empty and it’s cold. And you clearly don’t feel the same.” She felt terror suffocating her again because their fate was in his hands and he’d never been merciful. 

“Valtor-”

“You don’t feel the same.” 

She waited with baited breath for him to continue, praying he wouldn’t choose to doubt her pain again, wouldn’t revert and destroy the progress they’d made. They’d fought tooth and nail for it.

“And that means you never hated me,” he opened her eyes, pried her lids open with a force akin to a storm. And it seemed to do the same to him. For he was looking at her in a way that almost made her wish he’d never believed a word she’d said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: "What aren't you telling me?"


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” Valtor asked as he caught her hand and tugged her to him. Normally, she would’ve smiled at the playfulness–it was a side of him that he rarely showed–but nothing was normal lately. And small gestures of intimacy like that only made the hurricane in her head speed up and exacerbated its violent force so she hadn’t complained for the significantly lesser amount of time they were spending together the past few weeks as he was sucked into missions and destruction. She’d kept to herself, trying to put some order in her thoughts so that she could enjoy his presence when he finally found the time to grace her with it again. So far she’d had no success, to differ from him, who always came back victorious from his quests as the Company of Light failed to stop him.

“No, you can’t,” she said but there was no trace of the humor that might have been in her voice at a different point in time. Currently, she was trying to figure out whether she was relieved or offended that the same wasn’t true the other way around. She was hiding her thoughts from him and he didn’t seem to notice no matter how loud the screams in her head were. It made her life easier. Or at least, it would have if there’d been anything easy about her life at the moment. She was facing a decision she didn’t want to make, _couldn’t _make, and his ignorance was pushing her towards the choice she wished to avoid. Still, that should’ve made it easier, but it didn’t. It only widened the gap between her mind and her heart, making a leap of faith that much harder.

“We’re coming closer to the next step of the plan,” Valtor said with a certain level of excitement in his voice that was even more deafening than the vortex of thoughts in her head. It told her that there would be more destruction, more fire, more carnage, and she didn’t want to listen anymore.

She pulled him closer–if he wasn’t going to give her a hand to help her get to him, she’d do it on her own–and drew him into a kiss. She allowed herself to be selfish–she had to be selfish if she wanted to choose him–and kissed him like that was the only thing she knew how to do, like he was hers and she’d swallow him inside her.

“Someone’s eager to celebrate,” Valtor teased between pants when they parted. The hitch in his voice was so alluring, telling her she had impact on him, on his life.

She was eager, yes. Eager to feel him again – next to her, inside her, everywhere. Feel him and only him. Until there was no empty space inside her and her mind and her heart were connected by him. Until the thoughts that haunted her and her love for him were drowned in his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: "When did you know you were going to leave?"


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is early (for the last time).
> 
> Present

“When did you know you were going to leave?” he asked, changing the topic abruptly just like she’d expected. It wasn’t the question she’d expected, but they’d make their way there, she was sure. They’d both had a revelation. And while it mattered to her to know she’d never let any hate for him in her heart, that hadn’t changed her reality. But she suspected he’d been given a new perspective. She knew he had. He looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time and he couldn’t make up his mind when it came to whether to hate her or love her. And she wasn’t sure she’d survive the choice he made.

“I didn’t. Not until the moment I left.” It had been a torturous balance on the edge, until one day she’d jumped to the death of their relationship. She’d never wanted to do it – it had felt like murder-suicide. But she’d had to. She’d had to end it before it killed them both.

“How could you leave?” he growled, and the fire was back. It burned like fear burned. For he was afraid of her answer, and it killed her to see him so frightened, killed her to see him so frightened of _her._ He’d grown up in fear, raised by the most fearsome witches in history, and she’d promised herself she would only help him heal. Yet, she’d hurt him worse than they ever could have, for they’d never loved him. What kind of monster did that make her?

“I couldn’t,” she shook her head. “Not fully.” They were still in each other’s hands. “It’s why we’re here.” In each other’s eyes. In each other’s lives. He kept dragging her back, unable to let go of her, and she knew she’d be as angry with him as he was with her if he ever did.

“How could you leave my side?” he asked, and now the fire burned like hurt did, like a stab wound did. When she’d only wanted to spare them. All of them. Him, her, the world. She’d wished to save them, for they’d already had too much blood on their hands. She’d just stabbed them in the chests instead.

“I had to.” She couldn’t have stayed. Heaven knew she’d wished for nothing more. But that would’ve been the end of them both. At least now they were still standing. Even if they were doing it on the opposite ends of a battlefield, on both sides of the bars that now separated their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: "What if we just stayed here and let the rest of the world continue?"


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past

Griffin’s fingers closed in the sheet covering their bodies as she readjusted the position of her head on his shoulder. She spoke only when she’d made sure that she couldn’t see his eyes. And he – hers. “What if we just stayed here and let the rest of the world continue?” Hesitant sunlight was sneaking in the room between the curtains but its warmth couldn’t reach her when she had a storm cloud following her everywhere. It had wrapped around her mind, swallowing her thoughts in darkness, and she needed to shed some light into them, some clarity.

“That would be great,” Valtor’s response came quickly, making her look up at his face. He seemed lost in thought. “If we were made to let the world continue without us,” he said, forcing her to swallow the smile that had been so eager to take over her face as the clouds in her mind thickened. “But we’re made to make the world continue.”

Griffin’s lips parted in search of air. She’d reached a point where she couldn’t continue. Not the way things were. She had to make a choice. Valtor or the world. Her life or everyone else’s. It was impossible. She couldn’t leave him. But he wouldn’t leave the world alone. Why should she choose him over the world if he wouldn’t do the same for her? But could she make herself choose the world over him? And what would become of them if she couldn’t?

“What are you afraid of?” His question pulled her out of her thoughts and she saw him watching her, his face scrunched up in a frown. He’d found the worst of times to pay attention to her. Her thoughts were spinning out of control with such force that she was surprised they hadn’t hit him over the head yet.

“What are you afraid of?” she turned the question on him, knowing that his ego would get the rest done for her and get her out of her predicament.

Sure enough, his gaze left her face as his thoughts swirled back to himself. “Nothing.” It was so arrogant of him to say. But it was true. Of course he had nothing to fear when he was the one threatening the entire universe. “Because you’re here with me,” he said, his grip on her tightening and she wished he’d pull her so close to him that she’d never be able to leave, “and together we’re unstoppable.”

Too bad that that was exactly what Griffin was afraid of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: "I hate you."


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present

“You can keep trying to blame me, but in the end,” Valtor stopped to take a breath as if he didn’t have enough air to speak, “it’s all your fault.” His hands balled into fists, but this time, ironically enough, she knew he didn’t wish her dead, didn’t wish to strangle her. For that would leave him alone with all that misery that her choice had inflicted upon them. And he’d been alone against it for far too long.

“You were the one who gave me a reason to leave,” she said but she wasn’t trying to point fingers. They were finally telling each other the truth. And the truth was that there’d been exactly one reason behind her decision. But it had been big enough to come between them and tear them apart.

“Hadn’t I given you enough reasons to stay?” he asked and she could almost see the memories playing in front of his eyes now that he wasn’t running from the happiness in their past.

“Of course you had.” It was what had kept her from leaving for so long. All the little things they’d had. The warmth of his body under her hands. The sound of his voice whispering her name in the middle of the night. The love he’d kissed into her skin every time his lips had touched her body. She’d wished to hold on to all that, to keep it safe from the clutches of hate.

“Then why didn’t you?” he asked, and it still surprised her when she couldn’t feel the bite of the words. Because there wasn’t any. All that was left in his voice was a plea for help. He was begging her to help him understand what had gone wrong between them.

“Because I was afraid if I stayed, I would give myself a reason to hate us.” She’d been terrified that one day she’d wake up repulsed by the touch of his blood-stained hands. So it had been better to wake up craving it when she knew she could never have it instead of trying her best to avoid it when she was in his bed. “I was afraid I would give us both a reason to hate each other.” That they wouldn’t have survived. Not with their fragile hearts.

“I hate you,” Valtor said because they were finally telling each other the truth. And somehow, the lack of fire burned worse, for he wasn’t trying to hurt her, and yet, it hurt.

“Because I left,” she pushed herself to speak and was rewarded to see him finally understand, his eyes widening as he was trying to comprehend what she’d just said to him. “Not because I stayed.” That would’ve been the real tragedy. Seeing him hating her for staying with him would have been the thing that would have truly finished her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can't believe i managed to go at it for all 30 days! That sure is something that deserves a celebration, right? ;)


	31. Bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a short poem that originated as the summary for this story but I chose to use it as a celebration for my success with keeping up with my schedule and actually finishing this story (and on time!). Hope you’ll like it! :)

I wish you’d never made me harbor hate for you.

I wish you’d never made me fall in love with you.

I wish I could feel your kisses again.

I wish I didn’t feel the desire to sink my teeth into your veins.

I wish I could tell you how my heart is warm with love for you still.

I wish I didn’t have only cold under my skin.

I wish, I wish, I wish

But we can’t have the kisses of the past

When our teeth are bared in a grimace

And our words are aimed at each other’s hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now it's time to try another experiment. Y'all know what month it is, right? ;)


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